The fine art of "NO"

Your mom needs you to run to the store. The hubby needs his dry cleaning picked up. The kids are bored. Your friend needs advice. Dinner needs to be cooked. The floor needs to be mopped. The dishes won't clean themselves. Your assignment is due. The boss wants to know where your report is right now!

And all you want to do is run and hide!

The thing about being overwhelmed is that it makes you not want to do anything or better yet ... FACE anything. For fear that there is more to come. That the demands will never stop. The truth: they won't. Some-one will always need some-thing from you, just as you will always need some-one for some-thing. It's the way of the world, we're all co-dependent at our best. The trick is in prioritizing what's important and learning to SAY NO to whats not.

Telling someone you love or care about that you WON'T be able to meet a request of thiers may make you feel like a bad person, but I like to think of it as doing that person a favor. Seriously, I'm not joking! Consider this: If I say yes to something that I either really don't have time to do or really don't want to do, how good of a job am I really going to do?! Not only that, when it doesn't come from the heart it looses its effect. You become resentful and have an "attitude" about the task and/or person and nothing good comes from that. You feel like the person "owes" you something and when it's not reciprocated for whatever reason, your resentment grows. Or you spread yourself so thin that even though you don't mind helping out, you're tired and cranky ... and it shows. Either way, it's best to just be honest about what you are really feeling. If you have room for more on your plate and you don't mind helping, go for it! But, when you start to feel overwhelmed or better yet, once you know you're at the capacity of what you can handle before you start to feel overwhelmed, let it be known. You'll save yourself the stress, you'll save yourself time, and most importantly you'll save your relationships. People have no choice but to respect honesty. They may not like it, but if they choose to maintain the relationship they will respect it and it will free them up to be more honest with you as well. They have probably come to you in the first place because they know you'll do a good job ... why jeopardize that rep by performing below standard because you really didn't have time to focus on the task?!?!?! A good friend or family member will understand that you'd do anything for them under normal circumstances. You have to take care of yourself or everyone suffers.

Mom can ask your brother that sits in his room all day with his headphones to head to the store, and maybe Hubby can pick up his own dry cleaning since he's out anyway. The kids can bust the suds if they don't have anything better to do! While, you breeze through your assignment and the report with ease due to your clear mind and relaxed state!  Okay, maybe in a perfect world but you get my point. Somethings can be worked out and once everyone is on the same accord the ship will run much more smoothly. There will definitely be more family-fun nights versus family-vent nights!

♥ Cc

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1 comment:

ms.rubies said...

amen, and amen!

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