So, this past week I got into a little sumthing with a family member that lead me to realize some things about myself. My hubby calls me a drama queen, but I never believed him. He needed more people, because he couldn't possibly be talking about me, I'm anything but a drama queen. In fact I hate to feel like someone did something that they didn't want to do simply because I made it hard for them to not to ... or do I? Watching and listening to this 'relative' go through the motions over a simple statement that I made was like an out of body experience. As she went on and on about how 'I was trying to hurt her' I really saw myself. Maybe not to that extreme, but definitely in the same area. Wow, I thought ... do I really sound like that??? Are the things I choose to argue about really worth the fuss, or do I simply want things to go my way ... good or bad? If I'm really honest with myself, I would have to say yeah ... I do sound like that and no ... most of what I choose to argue about isn't that damn serious. What I also realized is that a rational mind will get you a whole lot further than the screaming and crying. While my 'relative' cried about why I hate her so much. I really wasn't listening. I was rolling my eyes thinking ... WTF is wrong with this crazy b*tch, much like how my Hubby always heads for the door when I go on my crying spells. However, when I approach him calmly with straight forward questions or comments about whatever it is I've found a problem with, things go very differently. We sit down and we TALK. We communicate and things always get better. Always. So ... looking back maybe I was a bit of a Drama Queen ... going off the deep end because I thought that's what I needed to do to get my point across. Not realizing that there was a better way that didn't require the emotional drain. I've decided to put the crown away, now that I've noticed it's gleam. I'd much rather 'real understanding' over an 'exhausted {most likely fake} surrender'.
3 comments:
LOL@ wondering what was wrong with her but kudos to actually assessing the situation in a reasonable state of mind... I'm trying my best to be like that but it's not working as quickly as I'd hoped.
I understand completely K*Mack, I'm definitely a work in progress myself. But once you actually witness the madness as opposed to being involved in it, it's really hard to be that way. You know it doesn't work, so you eventually progress from that type of behavior. At least that's how it's working for me so far, I'll keep yu updated!
i agree on being labeled a drama queen and didn't realize it until i saw it in a good friend of mine. i was like dang this is why my friends and family look at me like this. it was a good eye opener. i haven't made a full 180 transition but i'm on my way.
and props to you for handling that situation well...great blog!
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